Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
