That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
