I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
