you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
