Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
