Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
