At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
