I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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