Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
