i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
