He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Randomize
