I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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