after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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