Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
