im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize