i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
