The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?