i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my liver is dry heaving
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize