apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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