So drunk its hurt
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
