So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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