with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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