Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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