drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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