is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i will never coherently bang her
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
