Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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