If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
