Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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