let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Everything about him screamed your future.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
