just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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