Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
