We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
