I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
