And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
