It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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