we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
