I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
