FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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