I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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