She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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