Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
