girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
