We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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