if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
