I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
false alarm. still invincible.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
