Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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