Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
