we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize