This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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