really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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