in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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