Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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