dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
