i just wanna soil my oats bro
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize