It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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