Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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