as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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